Extract: Organisational Issues

Where to start, I wondered? I know, it came to me, begin at the top and quietly and slowly work my way down, examining everything whilst soaking up the delirium of knowing it is all mine. But then in a moment of gay abandonment I decided that whilst I was there I might as well check out the Connaught Room first.

It did have a small bar in the corner, I discovered, cleverly tucked away under the stairs where the previous owner, the swine, had left four empty optics, three out-of-date bottles of lager and a mountain of old beer mats along with enough cuddly toys and cheap china ornaments to start a boot sale. Ah well, at least there were no pumps or barrels to worry about.

It was a job to see the room properly with all my belongings dumped around it and flowers placed on every available surface, but there was an old Grundig radiogram and a pile of dusty records in the corner, mostly Matt Monroe and Cilla Black, it seemed.

Reviews

“On a par with War and Peace.” Professor Plum, Oxbridge
“Should not have been published!” (Disgusted of Luton)
“Side-splitting riot.” Mr. C. Penrose
“Five star stay!” (anonymous customer)
“Why did I do this???” (The Publisher)

Author

Details to follow. The author is currently atop Mt Killimanjaro seeking inspiration.

Chef de cuisine

Buy

Available from October 2020 at all good, and possibly bad, bookshops. Use the isbn to the left for paperback version. Also available on Kindle, Apple Books and Google Play.